When was the last time we had a good time together, I can’t remember. My husband looked like he didn’t care for me anymore. I was secretly doubting he was involved with someone else, too. My marriage was troubled, no doubt, and I didn’t know how to fix a troubled marriage.
I thought the world was about to end. I loved him so much, yet with the quarrels we were having I knew our marriage wouldn’t go too far. I understood his feelings, actually – because most of the time I felt like him too, I too felt that we were having that “crisis” one too often, and even the smallest issues were ending up in big quarrels. And another woman? I sometimes felt the presence of another woman in him.
I think those things made it clear to him that we were going to divorce, and from that moment he stopped caring. I was similar, but I didn’t want to divorce – instead, I was aware of our problems but I did want to help our troubled marriage.
But it looked like he had set up his mind on divorcing and whatever I tried (first acting overly good, then acting overly bad, then begging) couldn’t sway his mind even a little bit. He didn’t talk about divorcing explicitly, but it was secretly buried in all the words he said to me. Our marriage was coming to an end.
I didn’t want that – I loved him so much and I wanted to save our marriage – but all the advice for troubled marriage I had from friends and over the Internet were actually making things worse…
Thank you for sharing your troubles. I am experiencing everything you described with my marriage. I want to save my marriage and want to learn how to reach my goal. Your success gives me hope!!!
Hi Brandy I’m in the same boat and really hoping things work out.
Hello Brandy.
Hello Anna.
I live in Toronto and am going through a very difficult time with my wife. She wants a separation, but the language is that of divorce.
I will go out today and try and find a copy of Amy Waterman’s book.
I do not want my marriage to end, i have been married 31 years and still have strong feelings for my wife.
Just a simple glance of what Juliette has written about her marriage showed me that there are similar patterns in mine.
It would be nice if you could keep us updated with your progress as I will try and do with mine.
Lots of luck to us all.
Kirk, I believe Amy Waterman’s book is e-book only.
It’s more like a course. Juliette’s words about her marriage were really similar to mine. I got it from the link here. I must really say the book and its bonuses are very enlightening on every aspect.
There isn’t a single book in this course, there is a core book, and among other bonuses there is a counseling book which is composed of various problems Amy Waterman received and her replies. I have seen very similar cases to mine and Waterman’s replies were spot on.
It has been one week since I got Waterman’s course and although it’s early to say that I have saved my marriage forever, I have made some progress which I would have called unbelievable two weeks ago. So I recommend this package to all you people out there having marriage problems.
Thank you all for sharing.
I am a 40 year old male & I have also been faced with the challenges of being married brings. (10 years)
I believe I am a fabulous husband who always communicates well with my wife, I cook, I clean, and I am a very romantic and attentive person however…
Most of our issues revolved around money.
So you see…no one is perfect so no marriage is perfect. But I think the key is to always communication. And you may find this strange but I (a male) communicate more than my wife.
When she finally expresses her needs, its usually late in the game.
So what I have learned to do is to pull back just a little bit…
I keep respect for her and myself, I dont yell, and rant, I never show my hand, I never beg. And although I am pretty sensitive, I never show how hurt I am. I become a little more unpredictable and aloof and that seems to work every time.
In the past I have lost my girlfriends by getting down on my knees and begging them to take me back or show them why the relationship is so, so wonderful and why they are throwing away the best thing in their lives.
None of that ever works. It shows weakness and lack of self respect.
I am by no means an ego maniac…I am not a typical male. I dont watch sports, I love to shop with my wife and I listen to her whole heartedly.
But even with those traits (my mother taught me) we all have challenges on occasion and the best thing to do is open up, listen up, and back off, and keep respect.
Reach out for support from friend/family if needed.
Thank you all.
We all need love.
MD
I love the advice I am reading in the comments. My husband and I have been together for 10 years and married for 5.
I can too see the same issues occuring in my marriage. Over a year and a half my husband have been treatening to leave me off and on. I would cry and beg him not to leave everytime he does that. After about a week he would be ok… but the 2 months later he would continue the same patterns of taking his ring off and saying it is over. He just had the opprotunity to walk away from our marriage again Last night. I prayed for strength not to beg him, nor enterain his behavior. I am realizing he want me to beg him.. that is how he feels powerful and in control. Well I am not doing it any more. This time I said to him “OK…. If you want to leave I can’t make you Stay. I love you dearly but I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me”…I am hurting right now, but I will not call him at all, that is what he is use to..
So If you have any advice please feel free to pass it along (I am standing my ground)
Very inspiring posts. I have been married for not even 2 years, been together for almost 6. One of my friends once told me marriages are like waves and your ability to ride it will either make it or break it. She is right. Recently, with the stress of my husband being deployed overseas and my new jobs and , and, and… We lost our “connection”. He is not the type who will notice and initiate a change or even a discussion but our last fight ended with his words slicing me open: “I am done with you”. Honestly, with all the love I have for him, I cried briefly and then realized “why would I beg him to stay with me if he doesn’t want to?” Would I be happy to be with someone who feels nothing but pity or fear? NO WAY! So, in a sense, I was at peace with his words and told myself, if he really wants it over, he’ll have to come to me and discuss the details since we have 2 kids and own a home TOGETHER! Days and weeks went by, I wasn’t ignoring him or being mean to him, I was just being myself and being pleasant thinking about my own involvement in our fights and trying to be in his shoes. Eventually, I talked to him and said, whenever you’re ready to talk, I am here and I am not upset anymore, I just want us to get what we deserve, together or not. That opened a big door for discussion. We are doing better now, although we still need to work on better ways to communicate and be nice to each other. Never take your marriage for granted!!
Take care all and be kind to yourself.
OK, Im 34 yrs old and my husband is 35. High School sweethearts. Wonderful man when he wanted to be. We have 2 children a 15 and a 13 yr old son. All of a sudden he quit his job (the bread winner). I work and go to school online. Suddenly he wanted to go to college. He enrolled, got all kinds of information about joining a faternity. Bam that was it. He filed for divorce, moved out, and wants everything we have worked hard for 19yrs together. The is other things going on I am not saying this is all his fault, because it takes 2. We lost our communication and have not been able to gain it back. He had his hobbies and I had mine. I dont want a divorce. I am bitterly angry at him. But he refuses to go to counsling or even to church. I rejoined our church after I lost faith several years ago. I now am enjoy going to church again. I have prayed everynight that he left that he will come back and of course i have found myself in the I have to know what he is doing and who his is with. But this is the first time he has filed for divorce. We have seperated before but never anything to this extent. I just dont know what to do this time. I have deceided that I am not going to call him and I am not going to text or email him. Tomorrow is the first time he does something with our boys in over 3 weeks. Again he joined the frat and they had all the rush week and partys at night. This time I think he is gone. But I continue to pray. I pray that he sees his way back to me. I feel he has taken 19 yrs of my life and he has asked me to walk away with only my car and I get to come see my boys everyday if I want. Remember I raised the children when he worked and I also worked. Buying a house and cars. Raising a family and then I am just suppost to let it go. I cant find it in my heart to let it go. I still love him and he says he loves me but is not in love with me. Thanks for listening.
Wow, this is great!
My situation is even worse. My wife of 22 years is an end term alcoholic. Finally through her third intervention is 10 weeks sober. The problem is, she went on a strange journey for the last 10 weeks and is now at a “safe place” as she say’s and I call it her secret life. I dont know who she’s with what she does or anything. I belive she is in the hands of good people changing her life to become sober. She is now in AA and meeting lots of new people and spending time with men at lunches dinners coffee etc. I said I dont like this secret life and I cant fund it any more. I dont know where she lives what she does or anything. She is totally unaccountable to me and the family althought she has been reaching in a little and avoiding me.
My wife is so timid and finally sober, at the bottom of my heart I cant imagine she is cheating especially as sick as she is, but I’m tired of her lack of communication with me. I think she really can never appologize for all the damage done and she is probably extremely imbarrased with everyone for her situation.
Being the co dependant, for some reason I need this alcoholic and have been begging for her to talk to me. Everyone was jealous of her simple good easy life, and now its gone for her.
Finally today I said maybe we should discuss divorce, she ranted for two minutes and hung up. I hope she doesnt drink.
I dont know whether she should suffer or whether I should help her. Alcoholics have a very hard time communicating as it is and she is somewhat coherant for the first time in years. I guess my problem is that I give and give and give, with little to no return of appreciation or gratitude.
I have probably been to overbearing but it’s been a wild ride and you still always have to communicate even if you are sober.
Hi everybody,
My story is not much different than what is written here, but I frankly say that I feel I am just writing to inform you of my problem without expecting a help in return, I frankly think that I am on the way of a blocked road.
I am a man from the middle east (Lebanon), 44 years old, married to my sweetheart for 17 years now and we’ve been in a relationship for 6 years before marriage. She is 40 years old now, she’s a teacher in a school,we have two beautiful daughters 16 and 13 years old. We were living happily (I thought) until recently. Lately, I’ve noticed that she’s not holding my hand anymore, she’s not talking to me the way she used to be, She actually doesn’t show her love anymore, then she told me she wants to go out with her friends, not with me, I thought it’s what they call it the middle age crisis, a period where women feel that they’re growing older and they refuse it, she always say it that she doesn’t want to be OLD, she wants to be young and live as such, actually all her friends are younger (and most of them are singles) I was worried but not to the extint that something is going wrong. I decided to go out with her, alone without the kids, we sat and talked. I was shocked to know that she wants a divorce, or at least a seperation period for her to decide what she wants because she said she’s confused. She said that she loves me but not in love with me anymore, actually she stoped aproaching me in bed since one month now although our love making life was so enjoyable for both of us. Suddenly, everything changed. We had a lot of talking and crying (both of us) I reminded her of our beautiful family that I want to keep but she doesn’t seem to care anymore. Later on I noticed that she’s always keeping her mobile phone in her pocket, I reached out for it while she was sleeping and found out that she has deleted all call logs and all the sms. When I confronted her she confessed that she finds herself attracted to a fellow teacher wo is also married and he feels the same towards her. She said she’s confused (while I am in shock) and she doesn’t want to be imprisoned in marriage, as marriage is an obstacle for her. She said she wants to be free and not to feel guilty anymore. I amtrying to be reasonable and to understand but I am not succeeding. I am not able to understand why all this is happening. We sat again and talked, she said she wouldn’t find a better husband than me, so loving and so caring and generous and that’s why she’s confused. I asked her if I did or still do something wrong, she said no and I know that. I suggested to her to postpone the divorce idea for while because I would like to try to fix our life, she agreed. But the problem is that she’s not helping, as if she has decided already. I am not giving up on her, I love her more than anyone could ever love someone, and I know that I cannot manage without her. I am always thinking of our problem and that affects my performance in work. We don’t have a money issue, we’re ok, we don’t have quarrels, problems, or any other issues, so why did all this happen so suddenly? The problem is that she doesn’t want to talk anymore, she just want time. And during this time I don’t know how to deal with her. I am showing her more attention, love and care but this is not solving anything. I send her love sms everyday trying to express my love for her but this is not helping either. I am affraid if I am still showing her my affection she gets bored and sick of it, and if I manage to be normal and stop showing her my feelings I lose her. I am lost and confused and I don’t know what to do.
Thank you for taking time to hear my story, if you have any advises please advise me what to do.
My husband left home just three days ago. We live in Miami and my family lives in NJ, I have no family here but he does. I am confused because as much as I am hurting, I am also relieved that he was the one to decide to leave me. We both have problems of our own, he is an alcoholic and I have uncontrollable anger issues. We have been two time bombs and we tried to help each other through our problems, but I guess we just could not hang on anymore. Since he left I have felt peace but at the same time so much pain. I have not called my family and I know I should pack up and go back to Jersey but unfortunately I have $6 in the bank and enough gas to drive to the gas station only. I do not know what to do. Oh yeah and I only have enough food in the refrigerator for 3 more days. The only blessing is we have no children. I could not imagine not having food to feed them. I never thought this would be so difficult.
I guess I am in the same boat as everybody else. I had known down deep in my heart that my husband had been cheating on me. So in July I followed him. I knew where he was, so I went up to the door and rang the doorbell. Sure enough he was there. For the next 2 weeks after that we fought, he lied, THEY WERE JUST FRIENDS. Yeah right. He told my son on 8/7/09 he was going out to get something to eat. That was 2 months ago and that was the last day he lived in my home. We have been married 26 years and never had any fights, seldom argued, I made my life around him, SPOILED HIM. It’s 2 months now and I still feel like I got hit by a train. A day doesn’t go by that I don’t have a crying spell. It just comes on, I can’t stop it. I ran into him and her this weekend, because he is supposed to give me money on payday, which he hasn’t as of today. He wants to be left alone. So that’s what I am going to do now. No more phone calls, no texts either. I am not a raving beauty, but this woman is ugly, very ugly. Everybody keeps telling me he’ll be back. But will I want him.
My husband is still gone. I have taken on all the finances and I have to ask myself why? I cry everyday. I just dont understand how he can not care about me much less our boys. It has been so hard to work and juggle the boys with drs. appointments. I feel I have no time to think. And when i get a moment to myself I cry. I cant seem to get control of my thoughts much less my feelings. I have not called him much. He still counts on me when he has the boys. But as for me I have nothing. Sometimes I dont even want to answer the phone. I cant sleep because I think about what he is out doing. Or who he is with. He was my world. Now he is acting like he is 15 again. There is days I dont want to get out of bed. But since I am the only one providing for my family I cant do that. There is days when I am down right mad at him. And I get madder as the day goes by that he doesnt call. Any suggestions?
Well, today I have some break through. My husband brought my son home and we had a nice long talk. He wants to come home. He wants to work on our marriage. The only thing is that we have to go and cancel the divorce. So its not official yet. He also said that he still loves me and that he misses me. I just pray that he is not just saying that.
Well, I guess I can throw my hat into the ring as well. My dad recently passed and my husband left me before I could return home. We are married almost 19 years and to say the least I am a wreck. He will not communicate with me, I do not know where he is or anything else about his life. I am in touch with the Lord and praying frantically for him to touch his heart and lead him back to me and his family.Prayers are welcome as well as advice.I am very confused as to what to do and if he means for this to be temporary or permanent. I want this marriage to be saved .
My heart goes out to you. I know what you are going through. My husband did move back home yesterday. He has not unpacked his things. And last night he was out till 1 am. Tonight who knows when he will come in. He said it wouldnt be late but time will only tell. He has his friends now and even thought i am his best friend he has neglected my emotions and feeling and our children for his friends. I have been with this man for 19 years. And I dont know him anymore. I pray to god that he will be the man I married. But who knows. Does your husband have a cell phone. Have you called any of his family to see if maybe they have been in contact with him. Just some ideas. Maybe his work. Did he have friends? I will pray for you. Best of luck.
Thank you for your kindness. He does not have a cell phone. I received a 3 sentence note today with the card of a divorce laywer saying he wishes me the best but he has filed for divorce.Not even 2 weeks and he has come to this.He is BiPolar and Manic. I think he is way off and is in trouble. I continue to pray for him.His family is distant. I have contacted him twice at work and he will not return my calls. I went to a marriage counselor yesterday and it was very positive.I had my daughter in law call him with the counselors name and number. He told her he would call as a courtesy to the counselor but has filed for divorce. The lady called today to say he called and wants to come in. Like I said, he is going through something else besides this.My prayers will continue.
A perfect marriage begins and ends with you
It is all up to you. Your spouse is not perfect and never will be. If you are thinking that a perfect marriage is based on some tit for tat kind of deal with romance thrown in it is time to get real. You will be only as happy as you choose to be regardless of your situation. Don’t predicate your own thoughts and behavior upon the words and deeds of others. If you do I guarantee disappointment. Try to be a perfect spouse because that will improve your relationship by magnitudes. When you understand this principle and put it into action you will have the perfect marriage.
I pray for all of you with marital problems that God gives you faith and the strength to get back the man or woman you love. But you must also take a leap of faith and begin your transformation process, and ladies stop sitting up and waiting up for your man, try making time to go out and leave him babysitting, turn the tables gracefully, remember you are a phenomenal woman, use your beauty and wit and through it all smile, remember you are worth it, so invest in yourself and treat yourself, even if money is tight there, you change your style buy mixing your clothes, use things in your kitchen to make masks, you have the power to reinvent yourself when you want to so make use of that power, remember when you were dating your man, it was fun dressin up and getting that compliment well, its time to work it again ladies.Good luck:-)
Would you be willing to hear my story and offer some advice ? Married 25 years ( S24 , D15 & D9 ) . I’m 51 my wife is 47 . Just weeks away from final divorce decree . I do not nor did I ever want a divorce . I believe she had an affair w/ a co-worker ( both teachers ) and I started confronting her with the evidence . Heard all the textbook responses such s “we’re just friends ” , ” its’ your imagination ” , etc…. She then went to police , lied about abuse , and had me removed from our home . Dropped the charges 4 days later ( In NJ they must be proved ) . Hasn’t talked with me since ( now 15 months ) . Been hearing from neighbors the dude is at my house ( he’s married w/ 2 children ) . I never fell out of love with her but she has put me in hell for the last 15 months . Friends , neighbors and some of her teacher friends have contacted me as they feel I need to know the truth of their relationship . She even brought him to court once . My lawyer called it a classless act . She is telling people she was abused but those allegations didn’t come out until after the affair was discovered . Don’t know if the two are together as my neighbors tell me he hasn’t been around anymore . She is adamant we will never get back together . A marriage , families , friends have all been destroyed by this . There is much more to the story but I hit you with the highlights . She was going thru early menopause when this happened . The last 6 months prior we were arguing over her commitment to the marriage as I found a hand written note ” I love you ” which was a mans’ handwriting . She told me her friend across the hall wrote it bit I contacted her and she denied it . I’m totally demoralized . Thoughts ?
Everybody, the answer is to be in love with Jesus and live out His plan for our lives.
Hello everyone!
My name is Jane. I am 30 years old and 3 years ago I married us military guy, 12 years older then me. We have beautiful dauther,she will be 1 year old this year.
My husband is a wonderful person. I love him very much. But here is a problem…
Year and a half ago we moved from Germany to Las Vegas. My husband was working in Germany while I was in medical school in Europe. Once I graduated we moved to Nevada and I found out I was pregnant. This was great news.The plan was to study and pass my M.D. licensing exams for US doctors and have a baby and then go to residency as a physician.Wel, it didn’t work that way. I was always tired, never really studied hard and here I am today still not delivering what I promised. This gives my husband something to talk about meanwhile he decieded to spend a lot of time and our money in casinos.The “hot sex” is gone as well as ttust and love from his side. The problems became so unbearablehe now wants a divorce.
I don’t. I want to help us to go through it but i am affraid I don’t have that power anymore.
Any advise? Thank you for reading
I have a situation that is spiraling out of control. My husband recently “met up” with an ex girlfriend supposedly to talk about our problems and get advice. I am 30 years old and he is twice my age. We have 2 boys under 2 years old and he didn’t put anything (house, car, etc.) in my name and I’m afraid that he will leave me with nothing. He also is threatening to try to fight for full custody of our children. I am extremely depressed and feel hopeless. Those boys are my whole world and I cannot afford a good attorney and if he does get custody I wouldn’t be able to afford child support and myself. Any advice??
Dear Juliette
I thank you in advance for reading this email,
My name is Noreen and I am 36 years old married with 2 boys aged 6 and 8 years.
After our 2nd sons birth via 2nd c-section I went through a post natal depression and was not my self up till last january (2009).
While I was in depression due to me not being myself my husband { aged 41} decided to have an affair with one of his close friend Helen {aged 46} whom according to my husband and many friends was feeling suicidal because Helens mum died and Helen had no other family.
So my husband decided to give her children by sleeping with her, and between the 2 of them they agreed that my husband would walk away after the children were born, which as one would expect he could not do after the their daughter was born.
I only found out on 24th October 2009 that my husband and Helen have a daughter and Helen is due to give birth to another child boy on 27th of January.
In October 2009 despite hearing what had happened I said to my husband that I would like us to try again and he agreed.
Although my husband was having an affair he never stayed over at Helens place he would come home earley or late.
Things were going better uptill new years eve, when my in laws wanted the children to go and stay with them and I said to my husband that if the children are going to his parents house can he please stay in not go out with his mates because I don’t want to be alone at home.
On new years eve he stayed at home, but since then he is so determined to leave and get divorced.
this is what he has said to me so far
because of the way I have been, and that is the reason that he wants to end things, my husband said that he has been an arsehole and he doesnt want to be an arsehole anymore.
And the only way forward for him is to leave although at the same time he does accept that things have been better for the past few months.
My husband also said that he gave his friend the children and he never planned to be with her or stay with her even in the future yes he will see Helen and the kids but he is not interested in Helen anymore.
Yet my husband said that he does want to be there for the children as their dad and Helen as a friend but not as her lover or partner.
I have come along way since finding out about the situation.
I even have made efforts to go and see Helen and their Daughter with our boys so all the children could spend time together.
And as a mother myself I would like our boys to know in good time that Helens children are their sister and brother.
In this situation I have been on Yahoo Answers and asked people sadly all I got is other women telling me to leave him,
But I dont want to leave him yes I know he has been and arsehole but he is my arsehole and I would like to keep it that way.
Please advise me on what to do, or what would be the best way to go forward.
Many many thanks
Noreen
Noreen says:
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
January 5, 2010 at 12:21 pm
Dear Juliette
I thank you in advance for reading this email,
My name is Noreen and I am 36 years old married with 2 boys aged 6 and 8 years.
After our 2nd sons birth via 2nd c-section I went through a post natal depression and was not my self up till last january (2009).
While I was in depression due to me not being myself my husband { aged 41} decided to have an affair with one of his close friend Helen {aged 46} whom according to my husband and many friends was feeling suicidal because Helens mum died and Helen had no other family.
So my husband decided to give her children by sleeping with her, and between the 2 of them they agreed that my husband would walk away after the children were born, which as one would expect he could not do after the their daughter was born.
I only found out on 24th October 2009 that my husband and Helen have a daughter and Helen is due to give birth to another child boy on 27th of January.
In October 2009 despite hearing what had happened I said to my husband that I would like us to try again and he agreed.
Although my husband was having an affair he never stayed over at Helens place he would come home earley or late.
Things were going better uptill new years eve, when my in laws wanted the children to go and stay with them and I said to my husband that if the children are going to his parents house can he please stay in not go out with his mates because I don’t want to be alone at home.
On new years eve he stayed at home, but since then he is so determined to leave and get divorced.
this is what he has said to me so far
because of the way I have been, and that is the reason that he wants to end things, my husband said that he has been an arsehole and he doesnt want to be an arsehole anymore.
And the only way forward for him is to leave although at the same time he does accept that things have been better for the past few months.
My husband also said that he gave his friend the children and he never planned to be with her or stay with her even in the future yes he will see Helen and the kids but he is not interested in Helen anymore.
Yet my husband said that he does want to be there for the children as their dad and Helen as a friend but not as her lover or partner.
I have come along way since finding out about the situation.
I even have made efforts to go and see Helen and their Daughter with our boys so all the children could spend time together.
And as a mother myself I would like our boys to know in good time that Helens children are their sister and brother.
In this situation I have been on Yahoo Answers and asked people sadly all I got is other women telling me to leave him,
But I dont want to leave him yes I know he has been and arsehole but he is my arsehole and I would like to keep it that way.
Please advise me on what to do, or what would be the best way to go forward.
Many many thanks
Noreen
please email me on : nkq@dr.com thanks
Dear Noreen, I feel very sad reading your post. You are obviously a very loving person and devoted to your family. You deserve so much more. This is why so many people tell you to leave this man. He has chosen to bring two more children into this world by a single, needy mother. Its understandable that a woman wants children, and that many men would be willing to oblige, but there are such things as sperm banks. She did not need to tap your husband, whom she knew already had an obligation to a wife and children. It says alot about the character of these two adults. What about you? What about your feelings? What about your children? You deserve someone who will love and care about you. You sound like a person who has much to give to someone who truly deserves it. Your husband and this other woman sound like two of a kind–insensitive, self-centered and uncaring about anyone else but themselves. He has already told you he doesn’t care about her. He may be telling her the same about his feelings for you. Even if it is a lie, what kind of man is he? You deserve a man who will not be ashamed of his feelings for the woman he loves, or ashamed to admit them to others. There is someone out there for you. Think about what you have to offer. Don’t be discouraged because you have two children. It may be that you will have to make a life for you and your children on your own for a while until you are ready to move on–it sounds like you are pretty much doing that now. I endured 20 years of marriage to a man I lost all respect for. He was a liar, a cheat, a gambler and a drinker and drug user. He had no respect for me as a person, or anyone, because he had no respect for himself. I gave him so many chances and tried to be supportive during the few times he tried to improve himself, but in the end he did not appreciate my efforts or take advantage of the many opportunities he had to change his life. But he was the father of our two children. I finally had enough when I saw him trying to destroy our children’s lives and told him I wanted him out. It took a few months of persuasion, but he finally agreed and left. I was alone for 4 years when the divorce went through and it was another 6 months before I started dating again. I was fortunate to meet a very good man who is wonderful to me. He was 50 and I was 52 when we met. He appreciates me for who I am and I appreciate him just as he is. We respect and love each other. I knew what I wanted. I also realized I would rather be alone than settle for someone who did not see me as the most important thing in his life. We were married 18 months later and have been married for almost two years. We couldn’t imagine our lives without each other. You are worthy of happiness, Noreen. Connect with friends and family who are positive in your life. Be grateful for what you do have. Appreciate the small gifts of kindness and friendship that come your way. Enjoy your children. Good Luck to You
Hi everyone,
There was a film, called Fireproof. It was exactly about this subject, of two married people that were almost one step to divorce. It is strong advice to watch it. Maybe it will make your mind a little bit clear. Wish you all the best.
Regards,
Jun
I thought I might write about what is happening in my life at the moment. My wife left me last Monday evening and wouldn’t get in touch. When she eventually did get in touch, she told me our relationship is over, and that she wanted a divorce. I am 39, and she is 37. We have been married for 9 and a half years. During this time we have lived near my family, and have travelled the world together extensivly. I feel absolutely devasated. The one person in my life whio I love more than anything in this world doesnt want me anymore. I tried asking her why and she just says shes been unhappy for a long time. Her father is currently in hosital suffering from Cancer and this has put a great strain on us as he is a long way from where we live. She said that seeing him dying in a hospital bed has made her realise that she could in years to come find herself in the same situation and might regret not having had a happy marriage. I have asked her to allow us to at least try to put it right, but she will not. I feel that her work colleagues and family are actively encouraging her to divorce me. We both have very good jobs and a beautiful home, and she is already talking about splitting everything up. I have persuaded her to move back to the family home, but she thinks I now agree with her that the relationship has naturally ended. This is not the case. I am really struggling to cope with this situation, and am frightened that if I do try to talk to her about it she will just disappear from the house again. She has already talked of divorce and last night quoted seeing a solicitor in two weeks to get it sorted. I have no intentions of dealing this quickly with it. Also she wants to get our house on the market quickly. Clearly I also do not want this. I would appreciate any advice that people could give me to save the current situation from getting worse.
Married for 13 years. Husband left last year for 2 months came back, left again 2 months ago. Says he will file, still hasn’t, but I know it’s coming. One child 6 and a long history of travelling the world together.
He took up a new hobby about 4 years ago of drinking and lying. Since he left he’s been sober and works out…”A New Man”.
Addicted to work, porn, drinking, smoking and getting angry out of context.
I have no idea why I am mourning this marriage or fantasizing about saving it. I have no idea why I would choose to live/share my life with such an empty shell. I still have sex with him and cry when my son isn’t around.
How do I shake this dysfunction?
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