So, do you know how to avoid divorce when things are going bad in your marriage? I certainly didn’t. I had no idea and just kept on doing the wrong things on and on – and nearly brought my marriage to a level that was beyond repair. But that was then, and this is now: I am still with my spouse, and we still love each other very much. So I have lots to say about the issue, to people who want to save their own marriages.
(Click here to find out how I saved my marriage from divorce.)
How to Avoid Divorce – First Things First
Divorce is not what you set out for.
If you want to avoid a divorce and save your marriage, you have to stop doing the wrong things first. If you are going the wrong way, you have to stop going the wrong way before you can start going the right way. When our marriage is going bad and we suspect a divorce might be coming soon, we feel desperate. We feel the need to do something as soon as possible. Usually, this rush, coupled with our confused and depressed state of mind; makes us do all the wrong things in the name of avoiding a divorce. This is the wrong way which needs to be fixed first – stop to do more damage before you can start the healing.
The most common mistake people in this situation make (I certainly did it myself) is to go and beg their spouses for forgiveness. This is usually accompanied with crying and tears. The subconscious aim in this is to make your spouse feel a combination of pity and guilt, and force them to stay with you. Even this worked, it wouldn’t be the most noble thing. But it doesn’t work anyway – it makes your spouse totally fed up with the marriage, since they will be feeling even more pressure right now, and at some point their nerves will snap.
Before you can make any progress in avoiding a divorce, you must stop all kinds of begging and pleading with your spouse. This is, indeed, critical. I was guilty of doing that – but the woman who saved my marriage (read my Save My Marriage Today review here) taught me this was the most damaging thing I could do to my marriage, and brought me to my senses.
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
My wife and I are at this point and she wants it but I don’t and I know she still loves me but she acts like there is no hope to past the 9 years of bull that I put her through. What do I do to win her back?
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