How to Fix Your Marriage – From personal experiences I know first-hand how mentally draining and devastating a collapsing marriage can be. It is barely possible to be able to think clearly when you see your marriage, which is the central point of your life; turning to dust. However that doesn’t mean that you have to give up and accept a divorce. I didn’t – I fought and in the end, I learned how to fix a marriage, and I did exactly that.
How to Fix Your Marriage?
To fix your marriage, you must be able to back-track and remember when this all started. Of course, I know that marital issues (or let’s say, the realization your marriage is troubled) don’t appear overnight. Deep down, there are reasons why your marriage is problematic, and you can bet not one of them are because of a single issue itself. It is always a collection of issues.
The story of collapsed marriages are mostly the same – as it was with me. During the years, I had a number of conflicts with my husband over various issues. Some of them were resolved, some were not – but the “unresolved” issues are usually swept under the carpet. You can’t solve the problem, and you don’t want to fight, so you merely learn to ignore it. Only – only so many issues can be ignored such. It slowly begins filling under the carpet, and some time later it gets full.
And it is exactly when the next issue gets blown out of proportion. Even an incredibly trivial thing like “squeezing the toothpaste in the middle” can get out of hand, and then you can’t understand how such a thing could be bringing the end of your marriage. But it’s actually not the toothpaste. It is the big number of previously ignored, unresolved conflicts; when they can’t be ignored any longer, all of them get out from under the carpet where they were being hidden before, and their combination is just too hard to overcome. They take over, and they end the marriage. Or… you learn how to fix your marriage, and YOU overcome them.
In my own marriage too, it was such a trivial thing that triggered it all… I just forgot and left the fridge room slightly open! And when all hell broke loose, I thought; “Oh my God… My husband hates me, otherwise how could he be screaming to me because of such a small thing?”
So, you have to backtrack and find out when you first thought your marriage could be coming to an end. Some unresolved conflicts have a much bigger impact on the quality of marriage and communication. It is great practice to go back in time and find out when your spouse’s resentment (or indifference) towards you first showed itself. Then you can pinpoint the exact issues causing this state, and you can work on fixing your marriage.