My Husband Wants a Divorce But I Don’t

by Juliette on April 3, 2011

My husband wants a divorce but I don’t” – If you are saying this, chances are that you’ve met someone who thinks there is no way you can save your marriage. They say, “once someone says that word (divorce), the marriage is already over.” But those people do not know what they are talking about! You can save your marriage with the use of correct tools.

my husband wants a divorceIt could be true that your husband wants to divorce you; and I understand (and know) how terrible a moment it is when your husband SAYS that he wants a divorce. And I also know that the devastation doesn’t go away. When it happened to me, I was so confused and was in a frenzy to do something to save my marriage. You are terrified because you know that this is not a simple relationship, it is a marriage; and your whole life is built upon it.

So then it’s very understandable what you feel (and I had felt) about “doing something at once to prevent a divorce”. But this doesn’t make it a good state of mind. In a desperate state of mind, you can come up with nothing but utterly destructive things like begging and crying in front of your husband. Your subconscious thinks that he will be under more pressure about his decision if he knows how much it will devastate you and this will somehow repair your marriage.

And it does put him under great pressure, but that works the opposite way. He will want to get out of it as soon as possible. Moreover, there is an even more psychological condition that makes “begging” a very poor choice when you want to save your marriage when “my husband wants a divorce.”

It is the law that governs most human behavior – you want things you can’t easily get.

(When my own marriage was in ruins I saved it by using a great guide called Save My Marriage Today. Such guides, if written by professionals, can be incredibly helpful because they show you things you are unable to see yourself – since you are in the middle of everything. Click to read my Save My Marriage Today review and then visit the site; or click to visit the site directly.)

So what does this have to do with “my husband wants a divorce”? Lots. If you beg your husband, in his eyes you will be very easy to have. Subconsciously this will make you a very poor choice of a wife, and he will be instantly turned off. So you should never ever act the “weak wife” to your husband.

But there’s something else this points at… and it is that you can “use” this law to your advantage. If you are easily accessible to your husband, he will want you less. But if you are less accessible, he will want you more!

So starting from today act more independent. Leave with your friends and don’t come back until late. Things like that.

Know that being worried about “my husband wants a divorce” necessitates that you act the opposite way, and your marriage will be saved.

{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Denise Kliewer April 9, 2011 at 7:36 pm

my husband and I have been married for 2 and a half years. He is divorced from a marriage of 15 years. This is my first marriage. My huband and I argue alot, but we do love eachother, or so I thought he did. I know he is having an affair. We haven’t lived together for 4 months, and where he is living…he is never there. We dated and tried to get along, it was good. He would always leave his phone out of sight when I’m around. Now, he says it will never work, it is over, he wants a divorce. I know he is shacked up with someone…he absolutely will not admit to this and will not take any of my calls. Help! I want my marriage and my husband. What do I do? I am desperate for guidance in this. I am a Christian and lean on Jesus. My husband is a Christian too…or so he likes to think. Please help me.

Carrie Corsaro July 13, 2011 at 1:31 pm

Dear Juliette,
I came across this website while trying as a last resort to keep my marriage together. I can relate very well to the wise words in “My husband wants a divorce..”, I am currently trying to seek all options before giving up, for my husband informed me just yesterday he wants out. I love him, and our children love him, and I want so badly to work things out, and I want to do it right and I want to for us to have a happy future, together. I was feeling awfully desperate and “beggy” this morning, but just the little insight has helped me to feel better. Thank you!

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